The Dead Weight

According to a google search I just did, here are some of the things that are making you fat:

• Crime TV
• Starbucks
• the economy
• corn
• Whole Foods
• skipping breakfast
• caffeine
• bread
• your husband
• your office
• your shampoo
• your city planner
• snack-sized packs
• dieting
• staying up late
• tensing up
• the government
• your car
• the 21st century
• Arizona tea
• the kid’s music
• your pantry chock full of disorganized food
• your air conditiong
• yeast
• cafeteria food
• McDonald’s
• alcohol
• your thyroid
• soda
• your socioeconomic status
• lack of sleep
• too much sleep
• your antidepressant
• your money
• high-fructose corn syrup
• your food allergy
• your mattress
• cake
• rapidly reproducing digestive parasites

Sure is tough when the world is conspiring against you like that.

What’s odd is that I have been trying to incorporate a lot of these things into my weight-loss plan. In fact, I’m on the Yeast, Alcohol, and Digestive Parasite Diet* right now.