The Dead Weight

I don’t talk too much about exercise on this site. There are a couple reasons for that. The first of which is that at this point in time exercise doesn’t play a role in my weight loss. And I don’t intend for it ever to. This is not to say that I don’t exercise, it’s jut not something I’m factoring in. People tend to vastly overestimate the effect exercise has on the amount of calories they burn. “I went out for a mile walk today so I can afford to have this small piece of cake,” they think. But in reality that small piece of cake has twice the calories that they burned on their walk. So that’s the reason why I don’t factor exercise into my weight-loss plan. On top of that, exercise is something that takes time and I like to fill my life with a lot of different activities. I don’t want to feel like I “failed” just because I didn’t have an hour, or even 5 minutes, in the day to exercise. So I choose to lose weight solely based on controlling how much I’m consuming, and whatever effect exercise has on top of that is gravy.

The second reason I don’t talk about exercise much on this site is that there isn’t all that much to say. There are sites out there that have become quite popular by repeating the same information you can find anywhere. I don’t know why anyone reads these, but more importantly I don’t understand the motivation behind the people who write them. They’re giving the same lame financial tips that people have been giving for 30 years. “Don’t buy coffee at Starbucks, make your own!” Oh, really? Thanks for that hot tip. 10 Simple Ways to Burn More Calories, the headline will promise. And it’s always things like, “When you go to the mall, park as far away as possible.” Which is a great way to burn calories and get gang-raped. “Don’t take the elevator, take the stairs.” Wait, are you saying that doing something that’s more difficult will burn more calories than doing something easy? That’s great insight, but why stop there? Why not, “Disassemble your car at night and then put it back together in the morning.” Or, “Don’t sleep in bed, sleep while jogging.”

I do try and fit exercise into my life though. And the more weight I lose the more opportunities I have to exercise and the more fun I have with it. I don’t go to a gym or anything like that. I just do things that I think are fun in their own right that just so happen to burn calories too. Instead of trying to make time to do something you wouldn’t normally do, I think you should try and think of the things you like to do that burn calories and then do whatever you can to increase the number of opportunities you have to do those things.

That brings us to today’s murder weapon: weighted juggling balls.

One thing I do a bit that I think everyone should try and pick up is juggling. That’s right, juggling for weight loss. It won’t take you more than twenty minutes to learn the basics of it. There are dozens, if not hundreds of places online to learn juggling. This one seems pretty decent. You can also get books or DVDs. Once you have that down, buy yourself a set of weighted juggling balls. Then, everyday, juggle for as long as it’s enjoyable. Split your time between normal juggling beanbags and the weighted balls. Try new tricks and stuff with the regular beanbags and then just see how long you can go juggling normally with the weighted balls. If you don’t think 2 lbs is very heavy, try juggling with it for a couple minutes.

Here’s what’s good about juggling:

• There’s really no upper limit to it. There’s always another challenge to try. You can buy an exercise DVD and master it and not really be pushed after that point. But with juggling there’s always another trick to attempt.
• When you’re learning something new you’ll spend a lot of time bending down and picking stuff up and chasing after rogue balls–an annoying but calorie burning process.
• You can impress your kids or other people’s kids.
• Most people want lean, strong muscles — not super bulky muscles. Experts say that to get the long, strong muscles you should work out with low weight and multiple repetitions. Juggling with weighted balls is the ultimate low-weigh, multiple repetition workout for the arms.
• When you get good you can do it anywhere with any three objects.
• It’s fun because you’ll attempt something and think, “I’ll never be able to do this.” And you’ll keep attempting it and screwing it up. Over and over. Then at one point you’ll just be able to do it and you’ll have no problem doing it. It’s a very weird, non-smooth learning curve.
• You can take up joggling. I guess.
• If you do that trick where you juggle apples while eating them you’ll get a bunch of extra fiber in your diet.