Resolve
January 9, 2009
How are your New Year’s resolutions going? What? You F’d up already? Well, there’s always next year.
I used to think that the type of people who make New Year’s resolutions are really devoted to self-improvement and have a plan for themselves. These people know about setting goals and are committing themselves to achieving them. But I don’t believe that anymore. I mean seriously, a year? That’s the unit of time measurement you’re going to make your plans around? Seems unnecessarily long. Why stop at a year? Why not make New Decade resolutions? That’s nine less times you’ll have to resolve to do anything. You can be like,
My resolution for 2010 was to quit smoking, but then in February I got drunk at my brother’s wedding and borrowed a few smokes from my uncle and started up again. Well… I guess I’ll try again in 2020.
People often say things like, “New Year’s Eve is for amateurs.” People who say that tend to be people who think there is something cool about “going pro” at getting drunk and having a miserable evening surrounded by strangers. But while I don’t agree it’s for amateurs in that sense, I do think it’s true that New Year’s is a time for amateurs in regards to people making changes in their lives. Nobody who really is committed to making a change waits around for some arbitrary start date. Every time some fat broad in my office says, “I start my new diet on Monday!” What I hear is, “I pretend to start my new diet on Monday.”
So if you’re pissed at yourself for screwing up your New Year’s resolutions already, drop it.
Just start over and start now.
